The Goldfish Method

What to do with a bad mood while traveling

Yesterday was one of those days. You know, those days. Days where your brain's steadfast ability to drag itself through the mud squanders even the best conditions. A 'bad mood' is our catch-all term for it, but the phenomenon goes by many names — brain fog, a funk, just not feeling it — and can swoop down at any moment. A bad mood flies above you like a bird of prey, waiting for an opening to gnaw on your good vibes and ruin your day.

While at home, a bad mood is acceptable. You can expect an off day or two within the rhythm of an average week. That is perfectly normal. You might mention your funkiness to a colleague or a family member. Otherwise, the feeling goes unnoticed.

Outside of daily life, though, mood plays an outsized role in shaping our experiences. A bad mood is extra-perceptible when we have planned something fun. That long-planned weekend getaway with friends so easily becomes a painstaking slog of managing energy levels. That ought-to-be-enjoyable family reunion only reunites you with your headache. It’s at the times when we should be lively that we often find ourselves trapped in a gunky hamster wheel of thought. The pressure to appreciate your surroundings only makes the bad mood even heavier.

Mood is at its most vulnerable while traveling. Funny that. We spend our lives saving our coins and planning adventures, yet even the loveliest vacation can summon our deepest gremlin brains. Without our normal bearings — a routine commute or a ritualized coffee after lunch — we so quickly slump into our lesser selves.

Yesterday, for instance: I’m on the Italian Riveria with my best friends. We’re staying in a glorious house overlooking a stunning view of fishing trawlers, elaborate pink and mint apartments, and an energetic Ligurian sea. Nothing possible to complain about. There is even a pool between us and that stunning view. And still, I was in a terrible mood. No rhyme. No reason. Just a vicious vulture chowing down on my brains.

I would love to point to a specific provoking factor for my bad mood. Travel does not, unfortunately, allow for such precision. There are too many variables at play: Heavy social interaction, lack of privacy, irregular food or eating times, too much or too little physical activity, constant planning — these are some of the more common triggers. However, mood is also person specific. Maybe your mood is dicatated by weather. Or, hell, maybe the alignment of the stars just has your chakras all out of whack. No judgment from my end; we’re all subject to mood beyond our control.

What to do, then, to lighten the mood while away from home? When events and stimuli are outside our control?

It can help to develop coping mechanisms. A solid walk alone, for instance, can often do me wonders. If that fails to work, maybe it is time to pump the breaks, get more sleep, and skip on the wine that evening. It can also be remarkably useful to fess up to it. “Sorry, I’m just a bit flat today,” is usually met with, “No worries, we all have those days.” Good people understand that we’re not always at our best.

One special trick I’ve found is to think back to a previous occasion when I’ve been in a poor mood. Try it for yourself now. Think of an average vacation when you remember being in a bad mood. Don’t choose an actively bad memory, just a day with brain fog. Okay, good, you got your slightly bland memory? Now try to peel apart that emotion. Can you lean into that mood? Is there anything there? In my experience, there’s not. No meat on that emotional bone.

Maybe an example is needed. I often think back to a bad day during my fieldwork in Nepal. We had been in the country for three months, every day visiting remote villages and meeting with locals to talk about their lives. Really cool stuff. Some of the most meaningful days of my life. But on that day I was tired, totally sick of trekking from village to village and conducting endless interviews. I was snippy with our translator and did not feel like dancing at the village celebration. Bad mood 101.

Reflecting on that day, though, I’m not embarrassed or upset or regretful. That day feels like one sub-par blip in a life changing adventure. In retrospect, I find it easy to place it within the bigger picture. Somehow that framing helps me out. The bad mood seems so small in comparison.

You can then apply that retrospection to a bad day as it’s happening: “Today might suck… but tomorrow probably won’t. And even if it does, the feeling won’t cloud the memory of good experiences.”

That’s the thing about mood; it’s so temporary. We’re far more likely to remember events, people, or places (both good and bad, admittedly) than we are to remember our internal machinations. We’re like goldfish when it comes to mood. Even if we can recall our mood from a specific day, the feeling has lost all power. It’s never as all-encompassing as it once felt.

If I recognize that I’m in for a bad mood day, then my only goal becomes to hold on. That can be more difficult than it sounds while deep inside the funk, so I actively think to myself:

• Survive today knowing it won’t be perfect

• Avoid passing on your murkiness to others

• Take precautions that might put you in a better place

• Drink water

• Acknowledge the temporary nature of the mood

• Be the goldfish

It’s not rocket science, nor is it sure-fire, but it might help. Give it a whirl next time you feel yourself sliding into a funk and report back with your findings.